Nakakamiss ang mga Erap jokes
FVR, Cory and Erap, are about to be executed in front of a firing squad. Each of them is blindfolded and given the chance to call upon the forces of nature to save them. The executioner starts the countdown: ‘10, 9, 8,….’.
FVR shouts, ‘Flood!’. In a sudden, a big wave came. FVR was able to escape because of the commotion.
It’s Cory’s turn. She shouts: ‘Earthquake! ‘. The people watching the execution panicked. She was able to escape.
Erap was wondering what calamity to call. The executioner started counting again: ‘10, 9, 8, 7….’. Erap had a mental block. ‘5, 4, 3, 2, 1…’
Erap shouted: ‘Fire!’.
As Erap’s Driver test drive it.
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light as driver switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw…….
Erap: Hello, I will like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco ?
Operator: Just a minute sir…
Erap: Thank you! (klik).
ERAP: Loi, pasahan mo nga ako ng 2 my importante lang akong itetext. ~ LOI: (P2 send)
ERAP: (message received) OK!! got it thanks! ~
LOI: Tanga! wag ka ng magreply, Sayang!! ~
Sa isang party. Sabi ng isang Ambassador to Erap, ‘I haven’t met your wife. Where is she?’
Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap, ‘Oh, my wife just passed away.’
One particular day many years ago, Erap’s wife was having labor pains.
Erap panicked so he called their doctor.
Erap: Hello, doc. My wife is in labor!
Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?
Erap: Yes, doc!
Doc: Is this the first baby?
Erap: No, doc. This is Erap!
ERAP to MILF : Sumuko na kayo!
MILF: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.
ERAP : Tama na! Tuloy ang giyera.
Reporter to Erap alighting from a PAL flight: ‘Mr. President, what can you say about the economy?’
Erap: ‘I don’t know, kasi nasa first class ako.’